Cows and Ducks

The Martians came,
then
the cows
then
the ringing.

The phone would ring
every time I thought about sex

The Ringing,
the constant ringing!
I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t work,
just listened to the ringing.

The Martians would sing
Christmas songs
to the ringing,

then the cows mooed
and I
killed a duck.

Lots of people came from Texas
to stop the ringing,
(Guess a lot of other people
heard the ringing, too)

when they found out
why the ringing was occurring
they gave me
my own cow.

Finally,
the ringing faded
in a loud
Moo.

The duck was suddenly
resurrected.
Then I killed him --
Again.
I don’t like ducks.

The shepherds were earning about
100 dollars an hour.
The hookers were out of work
(Since there were so many cows around and all);

One benefits
while the other perishes,
one team wins,
while the other --
Doesn’t.

Final score

Martians 10
Cows/ducks/people 2

No one ever said who was on what team;
it probably would have made a difference.
I wouldn’t have killed the duck --
Twice.

by Jonathon Shank