DON’T BLAME THE CABBAGE

I am a cabbage connoisseur,
a cabbage attorney, admirer,
and devoted loyal follower.

I have fiercely defended
cabbages in various cabbage
courts of law and I tell you--
cabbage is not the criminal,
not the evil gastrological culprit.

I formally acquit this noble vegetable
of any and all wrongdoing, especially
of causing endless vile spewing
of unnatural foul gases from
all your aristocratic
gatling-gun-like-asses.

by Joseph Roque