MY DIET PLAN

My weight-loss plan is sure to work
since I’ve found where my mass must lurk.
The scale shows gross that sure astounds
unless my specks weigh twenty pounds,
I’ll just shuck those heavy glasses,
ignoring what my real mass is.
How much I’ve gained, I just won’t know
while people watch my shadow grow.
I can’t lose weight to grow smaller,
I should just shoot for growing taller.

by Gerald Bosacker