stripping

block this
and help me dissever these parts
parts of you which cling to me in bondage
he stays but strays and for days i try to recover
i try to cut my tears and sell them on the street
but they prevent me they hinder me
from stripping myself of you and i
become trapped and i
collapse as failure hits me in the face
then wraps its arms around me as i
sweat grief
--and drops of your love bleed out of me
these beads seep out of me
and i realize i am going through withdrawal
from these endless memories i inhabit
of you and i and i
die everyday thinking of you
like the kind of women who are not good enough
like the kind of women who are martyrs i must be one of them
i must be one of them my heart must have been worth breaking
and still you
paint your face in my dreams
in slow tattered black strokes and
i wipe the tears from your bloodshot eyes and
although i am divorced divided decayed
from you i still see clearly
afraid to scream
because i always silenced myself
thus all that remains is slighted
and unable to be rebuilt by love or
replaced by anything that is human
because you were divine
like heaven.

by Desiree Santos