a first

our first time, i'll admit
i wasn't well prepared.
the intent was clear, in the backseat
there,

car parked, in the car park of that dark park,
i got hard and rolled a rubber on.
how cold, and synthetic, but i was older,
and you'd let it, slide in, and out.

so on, and again, for no more then a few minutes,
but time stood still.
i shook, cringed too, in extacy and exasperation.
you looked, loved it, and me, in all those seconds.

the loss was the worst, the sex unsure,
while the windows fogged.
we did fuck more, much more, and it, and i got better,
but you cried when i left, each time i used you.

by Alex Munro